Social MedightmareYou're supossed to be able to have a normal relationship even if both of you are on social media right? Yeah, no! Well you absolutely can but both of you have to be on the same page. For me I'll speak from expierence here. I get annoyed when you don't hear from the person, just a good morning text is all I'm asking, but you notice they're on the gram liking everyone's pics, posting ones themselves, getting new followers. To me it takes 2 seconds to let someone know you are on their mind and I don't think it's an issue. Now when people are great with the texing and calling (FYI since when did the phone calls not become important anymore) but then back off and show distance you, maybe not you but def me, automatically assume someone else has their time and you start looking for clues. Well some say I ruin the relationship that way but others agree if something isnt right in your gut then it's usually the case in real life. I just went through this and explained my feelings as I should be able to and at first he aggreed! But the plot thickened when he started following an ex who he called a piece of shit and there was no way she could contact him because shes blocked. Shocker! So how did that all come about. We saw her out a litlle over a week ago and at first I wasnt aware she was there, although I did see this girl staring at me but I' used to that shit hehe (evil laugh) I explained that night she is gonna call you. I know bitches I was one. I know if I broke it off with someone who wanted more but then saw him with a hot bitch, Yeah wrench thrown! I would weasel my ass right back in. And I guess the bitch won. It's ok she'll be banging someone else in no time again. I'll never know because we ended things. I tried to talk it out and get answers but he seemed to just putting it back on me that I was spiteful and I look for things but thats ok! I don't want to give all my time and heart to someone who doesn't respect me enough to have a conversation in person.
So back to my original Social Medightmare. How do people maintain a healthy relationship on here? Is it just pure confidence? Is it that they are doing the exact same thing? Am I the only one who looks that far into it? Do I know what I would be able to get away with so I don't give the chance to trust them? Yikes!!! I think I'm going ghost for awhile. Not on here, just on FB an IG. Maybe it will help me communicate better with the right type of people. As I just wrote that I realized my last 3 relationships started from Instagram so maybe that's why I have such an issue with it? If they've reached out to me why not keep the search going? HMMMM I think I finally answered my question. Damn I love blogging. But now another relationship sailed to sea. Bon Voyage! Hopefully I can get past the nonsense and become more aware of my good qualities. I need my confidence back. When I go through the initial breakup I blame myself for everything when I should just say FUCK IT his loss I'm awesome. I am though, really! Well Hopefully somone will walk into my life who makes me look back at all this shit and ask where the fuck were you this whole damn time? I had to go through all this shit? Haha then I'll prob have him running. I'll be nice I promise! So God if you can hear me ....I'm ready for that guy who will make me feel like no other. All good things. Handsome, funny, sweet, loving, caring, passionate, sexual, well endowed please lol, knows what he has (ME), family oriented, successful and wants to build a wonderful life and family with me. What? Too much? Too bad, I already put it out into the universe! Come to baby :) #SEND
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Goodbye 2016Well well well....look who's back! Look what the cat dragged in...literally! It's been a rollercoaster of events these past few months and I can't wait to just unleash the beast because I've been holding this shit in forever and its just not healthy! Let's start with the move shall we?
Day 1: Jersey takes on the Island! So all the guys are hot over here. It's not a myth, they're gorg! They are at every stoplight, 711, gas station, you name it they are present. I rent a budget truck. Get the stuff out of my mothers, stuff from my friends house all the way down the shore to then take to the island. I get in the massive truck with my cousin and we proceed on the lovely Garden State Parkway. Well what I did not know is that you can't drive trhe truck straight through you have to get off exit 105 to Route 18. Yeah that didn't happen so I broke the law there. Then I then realize it's because the freaking overpasses are only 11ft high. So going through the first one my cousin and I are screaming like jerks cause I thought we were about to be decapitated! We made it! Get to the bridge....freaking $42 bucks cause of the axle or some shit...Grrrrr. We unpacked, I bought dinner, they left! Day 2: What the f@&$ is that? I notice a giant black ant and I'm not talking garden ant I'm talking GIANT so I google (I mean what else would you do) Black carpenter ants come up. I figure, hey its a basement apartment, prob alot of bugs :o yikes, off to Home Depot to get the spray! Come home (ah to be able to say that) and spray the shit out of the entire place. Every knook and crany (like the english freakin muffin) All clear, I thought....I'm sitting on my coucg and 2 more come running out in the middle of the room. "WTF" I scream. I'm looking everywhere. Then I'm thinking black carpenter ants like wood, the couch was in my friends shed out back full of wood. "Oh Hell No" I flip the massive couch straight up with the gallon of bug spray ready for the bastards. I rip open the fabric so see a shit ton of burrowed wood from the couch so I start letting loose with the lemon stuff. Ever see the movie ANTS well they came at me like a herd. I dump out the liquid killer and screaming like a nut, I catapolt the part of the couch (it's a sectional) right out the door! I wipe my hands clean and then realize how the hell can I get out of here. The couch is in the stairwell and I have to go to work. Well you best believe I took it back to childhood and started playing real life Chutes and Ladders!!! Climbed up and out and when I got home slid right down that bitch! Don't mess with me bugs! So no more ants, just Leo and I. The place is still coming along. I have a lot of stuff! I'm trying to downsize and it's working but it takes time! After I get settled in I get invited to go to a Billy Joel concert. We go, have a blast and on our way home my friend Janet is driving my car cause we wanted to go to the diner and she knows her way around. Out of no where this guy comes flying out in front of us and we crash. he had a stop sign and a red light but failed that miserably. Long story short cause it annoys me. My car was totaled. Had to buy a new one. Janet broke her wrist. I have buldging discs and shit and the guy was trying to sue Janet last I heard Aaaahhhh! On to the relationship part of my story.... Met a guy/kid 28 not my type but he was so funny and we made eachother laugh. We just clicked in every aspect. Dated for a short period of time and got into a little tif and it blew out of porprtion. He didn't call me for a couple of days and that right there burns me up! Don't try and teach me a lesson buddy. My last relationship didn't speak to me for a month at a time and ask him how that went for him :/ So we kinda talked a little after that we said lets take it slow and that always means buh bye. I think he called me a couple times and I just could'nt play the game anymore. Who's got time for that? I'm almost 40!!! Shit! Then I went to bumble...A whole blog in itself so I met a few cuties on there. One was visiting his family from LA. Asked if I would ever move out there I said sure, we hung out probably 5 times in the first week and then I was having a bad day I guess I was snippy but apologized and I havent heard from him. Now this one really gets me. This guy is from Jersey, knows all the same people, but we met through instagram. We had a great first date, He was all about me, we hung out, we talked all the time but it died down. We saw his ex out so I'm assuming it had alot to do with that. The one thing that bothered me is that u can see when someone likes shit on instagram or becomes friends with someone and my point originally was instead of the usual good morning texts you jump on instagram and call me later in the day of how busy u were and why u didnt call but yet u were on your phone!!! Maybe it is me? Maybe I just expect too much? I don't think I'm asking for a lot but every guy seems to think so and they can't understand why I would be bothered by instagram. We bump into his ex and he doesnt tell me till after the fact and I simply say well expect a phone call. I know bitches, fuck I was one. When u see an ex with someone hot your pissed, even when u dont want that person u have to fuck it up to see if u still can well she won cause after he told me he had her blocked from everything and shes a piece of shit blah blah, look who just started following eachother on the gram Him and his POS EX! Hope u enjoyed getting fucked over last time cause its coming again buddy. I was so upset I was crying and couldnt understand for the life of me why u would jeopordize something that could be great with someone over the scumbag that hurt you. I guess its the history, the chemistry, the need to be wanted but it still hurts and now I just dont believe him so another one bites the dust! So Goodbye you slut of 2016 Im so glad you are past me and I survived you! They say God only gives you what u can handle but God im gonna need u to take it easy on me this year. I mean I am gonna be 40 in 2 months!!! So this is the year I will get healthy, feel better about myself and learn to really love myself and not be insecure and wonder whats wrong with me, what didnt I do? I need self validation and i need to remember who the fuck I am be cause im pretty fucking awesome! I can really say that lol Im funny, attractive, smart, ambitious, active, and I want to find my match! I deserve to be happy with a handsome, successful man who adores me and wants to make me happy and I want to feel that same attraction, that want for someone to share my life with ya know? It cant be that fucking hard to find I mean sheesh where the hell are you dude? Im waiting!!! Real freaking patiently over here. So here's to a wonderful, healthy, happy, new beginnings, dreams finaal being met New Year!!! 2017 I am ready for all you have in store for me! I'd like to buy a house but if that doesnt happen then I think I wanna move, Maybe Florida by Melanie or Cali with my cousin. Hey alot can happen in a year! I just proved that in 5 months. #SEND Some PeopleI wake up on this lovely dreary Sunday morning and I have to take the baby girl out. I am dog sitting for a friend and she has the most well behaved Maltese I have ever come in contact with. Not yappy, just hangs out with you and still looks like a little puppy. Too Cute! Anyway, I take baby girl outside with her little raincoat, looking too cute for herself and we make our way across the lawn where they are having what looks like a fair type deal. We our minding our own business and I notice her tail starts going, she's bouncing around, so I look up and see 2 people holding a banner walking right in our path. Well, this woman has no concern for baby girl and is walking full stride, acting like she doesn't see the pup! I give baby girl a little tug so this woman doesn't basically step on her. Said woman looks down at baby girl, who's bouncing all around, so excited for someone to pet her, looks at me and continues to ignore us completely and try to measure up where she should hang this banner. I let out a big HAAAAA! 1- because I couldn't believe someone could be so heartless and almost plow down a 2lb dog, giving no acknowledgment of the cute little thing. 2- because don't fuck with me lady! This is my town, my lawn ( yes I get very territorial) don't mess with crazy! Mind you where we are walking is on the beach front. There are beautiful million dollar townhouses lined up in this little area, so the "great lawn" as they call it is part of this little community. Its where all the dog's come and use their own playground/bathroom facility. She looks at me up and down and as she got back up to my face I, of course, let out another HAAA but in a obnoxious kinda way, like my laugh just said "Lady are you kidding me"? What a bitter, nasty woman and her side kick weaselly man who said nothing as well. So now you better believe I'm not moving! Here we are baby girl and I, standing in a face off with yuck mouth and the weasel. He let out a little uncomfortable type of giggle/sigh, not really sure what it was and then another woman comes on over, who again has no acknowledgment for the pup! Baby girl looks at me, looks at them and pees. I grin ear to ear because I'm like this is her territory bitches, yes you too weasel boy, and now you can decide where your banner will go. The whole thing is probably silly and I'm probably over reacting (WHO ME?) Hey, maybe they were in a rush but to take 2 seconds to say "omg look how cute" (cause she is so friggin cute) or pet the pup damn you! So to get back to my rant why are some people so bitter and nasty. Be thankful you are living this life and breathing. I know its hard sometimes to see the beauty in the small things but we are all blessed to be alive. We must make the best of it right?!? A smile is all it really takes to put yourself or someone else in a better mood. I feel like I've read that somewhere. And to top it off this little thing they have going over here is a run for children! So I know theres compassion somewhere in your icy cold heart! (thats me over exaggerating)
Well I needed to get that off my chest. I can't wait for round 2 when baby girls bowels start moving. Right in the middle we're going! Eh, I'll be nice, follow my own advice and smile. But if that bitch so much looks at me in a....I'm kidding, well.... :) #SEND Moving On Up!!!Literally moving on up! New Yawk I'll be calling home! As I mentioned in my 1st ever launch time blog I'm moving to Staten Island. Why you say? I don't really have a matter of fact answer but i'll break it down this way. Born and raised in wonderful Long Branch, NJ but a time comes when you're almost 40 freaking yrs old that you need a change. I've had so many trades that I always joke and say "I don't know what I want to be when I grow up" but in all honesty, I really don't know what the hell I wanna do! I love painting. Ive been painting since I was 18 for my moms old boss (yes, I've know him since I was 8, mom is a bad ass like me, apple didn't fall far) to me painting is therapeutic. It's rewarding to see how you can really transfer not only walls in a home or restaurants but furniture too! I paint everything, even bathtubs fuck it! Im great at it, what can I say! It's tiring though. Definitely takes a toll on the bod, especially ceilings....its a painters nightmare (well that and wallpaper). I have such a great crew though. Some I watched grow from what 18? 2 weeks ago we all just went to his wedding! Funny stories working on job sites with all dudes. That will have to be another blog because see as usual I go off topic.....Where was I? MOVING!!!
Bartending is a lot of fun for me. I'm great with people. I know your wife/husbands name, where the kids go to school, what car you just bought and importantly what you're drinking. I guess you can say I'm a people person with a great personality. I have to laugh a little cause at the same time people really just get under my skin but I'll smile at your ass, best believe! Everyone says bartend in the city you'll make so much money, but again it gets old quick. You burn out, especially if its at night. I don't wanna get home at 5am. I been there done that shit!....Where was I? MOVING!!! Did I mention I also do Real Estate? That is a shit ton of fun but so much work. Nothing is guaranteed in that field unless it closes and you have the check in your hand. Don't jinx it! Now NY I'll need a NY license, ugh well I gotta do what I gotta do. Unless I get paid for writing this blog and people advertise with me. What? One can dream!...Wait, where was I? MOVING!!! I was watching a friends home while he was "away" and was taking care of his dog for about 4 months. We weren't sure when he was coming back so obviously I couldn't look for an apartment not knowing when I would be able to move. He's back home thankfully and it's been, well not such a comfortable environment...ah off topic (def for another day, stay tuned for that one cause I'm heated) So I started looking for apartments around good ol' "Strong Branch", nothing! Saw a couple in Asbury Park, found a cute studio for a decent price but the area was a bit sketch. Not bad considering some parts of the hood are really bad but I didn't feel a good vibe. Leaving work, dressed in all black "like the omen" ah lil kim, thats a song, "in case you don't know now u know, N!$$@" Ah thats 2 in a row SON!! I really hope you guys can keep up with my head. I'm literally typing exactly how I talk so stay tune for commas everywhere,,,,,,,anyway, it's going to start getting dark at 5, I don't get off till 6:30. I would be a walking target. "Look at her, all black, service industry, she got money Yo!" I decided naaah! Then a friend said he knew someone who had an apt in a great area of Staten Island. It's literally right over the Outerbridge in Tottenville. Went and took a look and viola told them on the spot I'll be in by the 15th #thanks n #thanks I always wanted to like in New York City for at least a year and I guess now "I'm 1/2 way there" (oh Bongiovi, on a roll today) Gotta get my nails on and go tanning. So wish me luck peeps. I needed a change and I think this will be good for me. Hey you never know who you're gonna meet and where life will take you so I'm looking forward to my new chapter cause I'm MOVING ON UP! #SEND Drama on the blockWhat an eventful evening! Mom and I are on our way to dinner last night for my sisters bday. She filled me in on 3 separate drama filled stories before we turned out of the neighborhood! I was specifically told not to blog about this or the people involved BUT.....let's just say a lot of criminal activities going down in a certain estate. Ugh how I want to type certain snippets but when I get famous from this :) they will all know who it's about! Eh, they'll probably be in jail by then anyway! Arson, extortion and crack heads OH MY! Just kidding, or not! When you think about certain people and hear things that go on you can't help but wonder "is this true?" "what really happened?" "who started this anyway?" Some people get caught up in this crazy world. I know I have! When people feel like they are backed up in a corner we tend to do some off the wall shit and don't really consider the consequences. You know its not right or ethical but we all do what it takes to get by, right or wrong?!? What a wonderful web we weave.
On another note....why are things so tough at times? Not making enough money, not being able to pay your bills on time or just get by. MOVING!!!! I've literally moved 7 times within this past year! 3 times alone in and out of my ex's place lol that was a freaking hoot! Its not a good feeling not being settled. When your shit is in boxes, you have a storage unit packed to the ceiling, animals at the families house and don't get me started with my car! I look like a hobo, well I don't look like a hobo cause I'm still cute but the car says differently! It's not just me, my sister is going through some of the same shit. She's thinking of just bouncing to NC, maybe not a bad idea! I would say Florida but thats just me and I have 2 childhood friends there already. Speaking of....my beotch is coming home for a couple weeks! Cant wait to see her! Its been too long. Ever have those friends that no matter how much time passes or you haven't seen or spoke to one another, you can pick right back up like no time has passed at all? Thats how we do! Damn I get so caught up and I still have to shower! Shit, late again! Peace out, scouts! #SEND EhhhhhToday is the day! Don't get excited, I'm just finally fixing my iPhone screen. Ive been white trash Barbie for far too long with this POS and the best part is I have absolutely no recollection of how this happened! It was back in July, yes I know I'm a procrastinator, went to Hoboken ( I could honestly just leave it at that lol) went from small, weak ass drinks, no napkin greet to thankfully knowing the owner very well and all attitudes changed after that! Napkins all day, drinks that made your eyes bulge to free shots of Don Julio ehhhhh! Now being a bartender, rule of thumb is to make eye contact, even if you're busy as hell, acknowledge me damn it! And I want my freaking napkin, it shows me that you know I'm there, I know you know I'm here but you'll be getting back to me soon and when u do you put my drink on the damn napkin I'm not a neanderthal (well I guess I was that night, hence epic fail for my phone). Long story not so short, I woke up and was like "dude, wheres my phone?" Screw you Hoboken no joking. We took are hung over asses out the door, through the garage and into the car to get fatty pork roll egg and cheese's (cause thats what we do in Jersey and yes its pork roll not taylor ham! It clearly states it on the roll of pork that its packed in! Grrr) Last one out bends down and picks up what looks like my phone and presents it like a scene out of The Lion King but the face on said person showed all in the car that is wasn't good. I yell with a sigh of relief because we didn't have to go back to the Boken! None of us remembered even being in the garage the night before so I'm thinking I was in my drunk and stupor trying to peace outta there due to a possible picking of a fight I may have started. When I'm drunk I like to prove a point. Although sometimes my points are not even close to valid but what can I say I like a challenge lol!
Brings us to today....Ive been trying to see where I can get a decent price on a screen. That shit is expensive! Im going in a hr to drop off the classless phone, I mean she's really making me look bad! I try to hide it and cover it when I check the time, its silly but you know when you see a person with a banged up phone you judge! You're thinking this person is a disaster, get your shit together, sheeesh! Don't even try to lie about it, I do and that is hilarious knowing I don't have a fucking clue how mine happened! So ill be a whole again soon then I'm taking it right to Verizon to upgrade to the new 7! I know what you're thinking. Why would she spend that money to go fix her phone then trade it in? Ill tell you why...it may take me months to finally say enough is enough but when I go I go BIG and I like shiny new things AND I deserve it! Rest in peace Miss 6+, we had a good run! The memories I must say Id actually like to leave there with you because last year was a big EHHHHH! May you go to a nice new owner who will not black out and I promise to take care of Mr. 7 and bet your ass Siri is going to have that British accent and call me Jamie Jamie Boo Baby! SHIT I'M LATE!!! #SEND |
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